Bimp (noun): Bald Pimp

The Bimp.

The Bimp.

Is Bruce Willis the coolest Bald of all?  We knew he had married a sexy young swimsuit model over the weekend, but now reports are coming in on exactly how an Alpha Bald picks out his bride:

BRUCE Willis, 54, and his new wife, Emma Heming, 30, didn’t meet through friends, as his pals have insisted in fact, the superstar actor hand-picked her as a perfect stranger.

Emma Hemming.

Emma Heming.

An impeccable source tells Page Six: “During the casting of ‘Perfect Stranger’ [the suspense movie Willis made with Halle Berry two years ago], Bruce was very involved with the casting. In fact, you could say he was extremely involved no matter how minor the role.”

At Willis’ request, calls were placed to modeling agencies to fill the roles of extras and minor speaking parts.

Our casting source said, “He personally went through head shots and when the girls were called in to ‘read,’ he was there in the meeting. It was odd for the star of a movie to do so, but at the time he was single and I guess he needed a date.”

The casting sessions/blind dates went well enough. “He started dating [model] Tamara Feldman, with whom he coincidentally enough had a sex scene,” our insider said.

Then, Heming was selected for a small speaking part. Willis “started dating both Tamara and Emma but obviously, Emma eventually won out,” the source said.

Wow.

Alpha Bald doesn’t even do this man justice anymore.

Big Bimpin'.

Big Bimpin'.

Name a Haired man (that doesn’t start with the prefix “Al-”) who can order up a bevy of bodacious beauties to be paraded before him for his choosing like this.  Not since Imhotep has any Bald weilded such commanding authority in the pursuit of his lustful whims.  Bruce Willis may not be the most powerful Bald in the universe, but when it comes to the opposite sex, this groundbreaking Baldbanger is blazing trails few Balds have ever traveled.

Thus the invention of a new term is in order:  Bimp. Definition?  Bald Pimp.  Synonym?  Bruce f&%kin’ Willis.

Hats off to you, sir.

You have chosen...  wisely.

You have chosen... wisely.

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*Click here for more Emma Heming!

11 Responses to Bimp (noun): Bald Pimp

  1. [...] has tried, with limited success, to become a breakout kind of rebel movie star in the mold of another famous baldy, Bruce Willis of “Die Hard” and other action films. Diesel is returning to the “Fast” [...]

  2. [...] Bruce Willis (a.k.a. The Bimp) was honored this weekend with the Sonoma International Film Festival’s Lifetime Achievement [...]

  3. [...] Bimpress is back!  Enjoy these highly NSFW pics of Bruce Willis’s blushing bride strutting her stuff at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion [...]

  4. [...] neither Hair nor there.  It is clear he sees himself as a badass Bald like Michael Chiklis or the Bimp.  But despite his dreams of Bimpness, something prevents him from grabbing the razor and going [...]

  5. [...] Blue Eyes” video (as Durst’s love interest — now that’s acting!), it was her film with Bruce Willis that led him to select meet his bimptastic new wife (and yes, there was that John Travolta [...]

  6. [...] here to see Bruce Willis‘ bodacious bride Emma [...]

  7. [...] here for Bruce Willis’s Victoria’s Secret vixen Emma [...]

  8. [...] Alpha Bald Bruce Willis picked Emma Heming out of a casting call on “Perfect Stranger” and married her out of nowhere in a whirlwind romance, few had [...]

  9. [...] Bimp Bruce Willis’s recent nuptials to the stunning Emma Heming, The Bimp himself was caught sneaking a peek at [...]

  10. [...] The Bimp and his bethrothed arrive for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala in New [...]

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    [...]Bimp (noun): Bald Pimp « The Bald Wall[...]…

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