EMMSCLUSIVE: Video of Emma Heming @ Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

May 6, 2009

-"Hello?"  -"Yippee ki yay, motherf@^&er."

-"Hello?" -"Yippee ki yay, motherf@^&er."

When Alpha Bald Bruce Willis picked Emma Heming out of a casting call on “Perfect Stranger” and married her out of nowhere in a whirlwind romance, few had even heard of the young lingerie model.  Media outlets scrambled for pictures of the Bald-loving beauty.

But when it comes to anything in the Willisphere, no one beats The Bald Wall to the punch.  We’ve unearthed a brief clip of the bride-to-be practicing her walk down the aisle in the 2001 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  Brace yourself… for the Bimpress:

Run Emma Run.

Emma gaaawd.

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*Click here for more Emma Heming!

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BALD SPOT: The Bimp & Bimpress Arrive at the Ball

May 6, 2009
Bounce light.

Bounce light.

SPOTTEDThe Bimp and his bethrothed arrive for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala in New York, looking positively Emmaculate!

The Head carpet treatment.

The Head carpet treatment.


The Bimp Browse

May 5, 2009
bimp-browse

That's not a Rumer.

Despite Bimp Bruce Willis‘s recent nuptials to the stunning Emma Heming, The Bimp himself was caught sneaking a peek at young starlet Kate Bosworth at an event on Monday.  Of course, Bosworth’s battled with the Bald and lost before in the stinker Superman Returns.

But who can blame the Bimp for browsing– he’s Bald, not blind!

——

UPDATE: Not the first time!

Mercury Rising...

Mercury Rising...

Striking Distance.

Striking Distance.


Mario Jumps on the Baldwagon; Berry right behind

April 22, 2009

Following in the footsteps of his R&B peer Cassie, “Braid My Hair” singer Mario did an about face this week and took the clippers down to zero:

Mario Bros.

Mario Bros.

What do you think?  Is Mario the next Britney, or just another celeb jumping on the Baldwagon?

Berrah Fawcett.

Berrah Fawcett.

Speaking of Baldwagon, stay tuned for Halle Berry’s upcoming stunt sacrifice to her craft.  The “Catwoman” star is promoting her plans to go extensionless for her new movie “Nappily Ever After”.

What’s the deal?  Are all these people just trying to sleep with Emma Heming?

Via Singersroom.


All-New Emma Heming runway pics (NSFW)

April 10, 2009
See Emma walk.

See Emma walk.

The Bimpress is back!  Enjoy these highly NSFW pics of Bruce Willis‘s blushing bride strutting her stuff at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.


BIMPWATCH: The Bimp Honored With Lifetime Achievement Award

April 6, 2009
Beauty and The Bimp.

Beauty and The Bimp.

Alpha-Bald Bruce Willis (a.k.a. The Bimp) was honored this weekend with the Sonoma International Film Festival’s Lifetime Achievement Award for his roles in Bald classics like “Pulp Fiction”, “12 Monkeys”, and “Live Free or Die Haired”.

Baldsploitation.

Baldsploitation.

"So I'm thinking about shaving it off for Fight Club, but I don't know...  what do you think?"

"So I'm thinking about shaving it off for Fight Club..." "Do it, kid."

It was also the Bimp’s first public appearance with Victoria’s Secret model Emma Heming since the two tied the knot — and as usual, the nubile newlywed was looking hot enough to put sweat on your scalp!

Skin is in.

Skin is in.


Bimp Palace Goes Up In Flames

April 1, 2009
Just a reminder:  Balds should always wear sunblock.

Just a reminder: Balds should always wear sunblock.

It’s hard out there for a Bimp.  Just when you’ve selected your favorite Victoria’s Secret model to marry and the future’s looking positively peachy, your Idaho ski lodge burns to the ground in a blaze. Luckily Willis escaped without injury.

Our hearts and prayers go out to The Bimp and his bride.  If you’d like to donate money to the Willises to help them rebuild, click here.