But when it comes to anything in the Willisphere, no one beats The Bald Wall to the punch. We’ve unearthed a brief clip of the bride-to-be practicing her walk down the aisle in the 2001 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Brace yourself… for the Bimpress:
Speaking of Baldwagon, stay tuned for Halle Berry’s upcoming stunt sacrifice to her craft. The “Catwoman” star is promoting her plans to go extensionless for her new movie “Nappily Ever After”.
Alpha-Bald Bruce Willis (a.k.a. The Bimp) was honored this weekend with the Sonoma International Film Festival’s Lifetime Achievement Award for his roles in Bald classics like “Pulp Fiction”, “12 Monkeys”, and “Live Free or Die Haired”.
Baldsploitation.
"So I'm thinking about shaving it off for Fight Club..." "Do it, kid."
It was also the Bimp’s first public appearance with Victoria’s Secret model Emma Heming since the two tied the knot — and as usual, the nubile newlywed was looking hot enough to put sweat on your scalp!
None other than sultry “Transformers 2” actress Megan Fox, who revealed her newly bald pate last night at the premiere for Seth Rogen laffer “Observe And Report“.
The sexy siren shaved her head for an upcoming role in Fox 2000’s remake of “Alien Nation“. The original 1988 science fiction film about a family of aliens trying to adapt to earthly suburban life was a smart allegory about racism and sexism, and spawned an acclaimed television series which only ran for one season but has since become a cult classic. In the new film, Fox will play alien Susan Francisco, a “Newcomer” who lobbies for the right to vote.
And speaking of newcomers… welcome to the club, Megan!
UPDATE: APRIL FOOLS!
ACCEPT OUR APOLOGIES:
*Click here to see Vin Diesel‘s vivacious wife Paloma Jimenez!
*Click here for Bruce Willis‘s Victoria’s Secret vixen Emma Heming!
BRUCE Willis, 54, and his new wife, Emma Heming, 30, didn’t meet through friends, as his pals have insisted in fact, the superstar actor hand-picked her as a perfect stranger.
Emma Heming.
An impeccable source tells Page Six: “During the casting of ‘Perfect Stranger’ [the suspense movie Willis made with Halle Berry two years ago], Bruce was very involved with the casting. In fact, you could say he was extremely involved no matter how minor the role.”
At Willis’ request, calls were placed to modeling agencies to fill the roles of extras and minor speaking parts.
Our casting source said, “He personally went through head shots and when the girls were called in to ‘read,’ he was there in the meeting. It was odd for the star of a movie to do so, but at the time he was single and I guess he needed a date.”
The casting sessions/blind dates went well enough. “He started dating [model] Tamara Feldman, with whom he coincidentally enough had a sex scene,” our insider said.
Then, Heming was selected for a small speaking part. Willis “started dating both Tamara and Emma but obviously, Emma eventually won out,” the source said.
Wow.
Alpha Bald doesn’t even do this man justice anymore.
Big Bimpin'.
Name a Haired man (that doesn’t start with the prefix “Al-“) who can order up a bevy of bodacious beauties to be paraded before him for his choosing like this. Not since Imhotep has any Bald weilded such commanding authority in the pursuit of his lustful whims. Bruce Willis may not be the most powerful Bald in the universe, but when it comes to the opposite sex, this groundbreaking Baldbanger is blazing trails few Balds have ever traveled.
Thus the invention of a new term is in order: Bimp. Definition? Bald Pimp. Synonym? Bruce f&%kin’ Willis.
Posted by Balderdash 
EMMA HEMING
The Bald Wall 
